Overthink

Hey people!!

I’ve been away from this place for so long. That transition from school to college took quite some time for me. But all through this time I missed this amazing place and of course you all. Now I am back, though.

On some days words are the only way to liberate one’s thoughts and the only escapism one has is writing. You all know that well, right? And today’s one of those days.

So here it goes

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Times have changed
So have You and I
You talked more about you
I talked more about me
But little did we talk about us
The way we had been
The way we could have been
And here I am
Still overthinking
The way I used to

You told me I looked beautiful
The way you used to say
I smiled
The way I used to do
You have always been great at flattering me, haven’t you been?
But there was something missing today
Could you feel that too??
Or was it just me
Overthinking… Yet Again??

That little moment
When your eyes met mine
A feeling I am so familiar with
That very feeling I had while walking with you
In December’s morning
Just fog everywhere and you and me
You remember that day, don’t you??
It’s December again
Just fog everywhere
Outside
And within me

Two years have passed by
Priorities and personal commitments fulfilled
By both you and me
But somewhere have we lost Us??
Has time taken over… Us??
Has it taken over
what we called Love??
You have changed
I have changed
Or maybe
The vibes between us have
But one thing that has stayed the same
And probably forever will
I still overthink.

P.S.
And also I miss us
Today
And everyday…

Welcome Adulthood

Hey people!!

It has been such a long time I talked to you. So much has been happening lately.

My Board exams are over (one of the biggest milestones in India). And yesterday CBSE surprised (or maybe shocked) us all by releasing the Board results way too early. So I performed pretty well, less than I had expected though (inevitable human expectations you see).

And last week I turned 18 ( yippee) which changes my official status from a TEEN to an ADULT.

Being an adult was something I long awaited. I’ll get a driving license and a voter ID card (and people thinking of me as somewhat responsible)

But suddenly I miss my teenage. I loved emanating those TEENAGE VIBES- being all carefree, zealous, adventurous, ambitious and full of mood swings.

My super recent adulthood, however, compels me to hush up my illogical thoughts, conceal my whimsical emotions, hold back my out-of-the-world kind of fantasies and wishes and make my nonsensical humour all dormant.

I wonder why adults have created such a dreadful image of themselves (according to me atleast) brimming with monotony, artfulness, ego centrism and responsibilities.

If being so makes one adult, I’m still a teenager and will always love to be one. (Plus I get to keep pink as my favourite colour :))

So, as I’m stepping into an entirely new world, I’ve decided to start with a new series called ‘Growing Up’ wherein I’ll post whatever my Adulthood will teach me in the form of short write-ups.

Since I’m naive in this new world your views on this series and all its posts are highly solicited.

Till then see you!!

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Pic by Andrea Mininni

Tuxedo

It’s getting cold now
The evening growing dusky
Sky exhibiting all shades of darkness
Breeze harbouring petrichor
The one you loved
Tinkling my hair
The way you did
Moist green leaves
Lying on the muddy ground
And crimson flowers
Blooming on the trees
Nests cradling cheery birds
Coming back to their tiny chics
Only two stars visible above
Twinkling and staring down
Perhaps trying to cheer me up
By listening to my silent songs
Things seem calm
Tranquil
Everything around yet something missing
And here I am
Sitting
In your Tuxedo

The One Departed (II)

The dreadful day is back
Crystal clear
As if it happened yesterday
The fear incapacitating my mind
An uncanny sensation
His body stiffened and became pale
He lay there
Clouded by people around
The ones who met him every day
And those who couldn’t manage
To meet him
While he was alive
I couldn’t see
His brown eyes
For they were closed now
Strangely my feet quivered
To go near him
The way others did
Faces as white
As the shroud above him
Mourns and cries floating around
Words left unsaid
Regrets for things said…

Exactly two years from then
Things have changed
But it feels as if that day is back
The same silent evening
Darkness pervading
Maybe that’s what makes people different
From things
PEOPLE CAN NOT BE REPLACED

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The One Departed

All Numb

I miss you
no more
Not that
I’ve forgotten you
or the intimate moments
spent with you
But that
the constant yearning
to get you back
has turned me frigid
all numb
I’m out of my senses
The chances
to get back are really low
both my senses
and you…

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In response to frigid

Pic Unsplash

 

Intoxicated

Every morning
My eyes rush
to catch a glimpse
of that gleeful face
And the moment I find
those bottomless brown eyes
a rapid rush of adrenaline
flows through me
pinkening my pale skin
His sight penetrates through me
exploring
parts of me
yet to be discovered
My pensive feelings
yawning sleepily
wake up with a jerk
exhilarated by effervescence
entangled by ecstacy
surrounded
by the smoke of solace
All my toasty thoughts
cuddled up
inside the blanket of my heart
begin to levitate
towards the stratosphere
I feel intoxicated
enslaved
to see that addictive face
again and again
If the appetite
will be satiated
ever
I doubt…

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In response to explore